Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
