But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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