"it" just moved
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
