the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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