This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
