and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
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You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
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Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize