i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
