shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
