If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
