Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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