It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
