i don't plan on having that self control this summer
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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