I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
