Me. At least after what I've been through.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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