Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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