It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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