Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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