you turned your livingroom into a bong?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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