Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize