shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
