Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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