so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I would ride that face into the sunset
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
