you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
