I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
