yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
