You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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