Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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