Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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