yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize