Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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