would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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