oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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