you traded sex for a burrito?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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