Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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