I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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