One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
