She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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