Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
