if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
