glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
