Where did you get a picture of my penis
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
