Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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