i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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