Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
