1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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