you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
