I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i dont even know how to be here
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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