So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize