There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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