It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
