this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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