i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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