but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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