We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
and she was petting her beer can
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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