I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
