Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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