I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just had sex on a roof
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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