Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
