I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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