My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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