i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
