The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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